Miss Sullivan’s Class Always Says The Darndest Things

Ready? If you've never read the first two installments of "The Darndest Things" check them out here and here.

Quick preface before we get into the juicy stuff! This year my classroom runs a little different because I am not a regular home room teacher. I teach reading and writing to second graders during the morning block and third graders during the afternoon block. I really love this teaching job and feel like it's the perfect fit for me.

It is very interesting to have two separate classes because they each have their own "class personality" and dynamic. My second graders are sweet, mild, timid and quiet. My third graders are loud, energetic, and humorous (they think so at least.) Even though they have very different personalities they both keep me entertained by their antics and attempts to entertain. Enjoy!

• During Red Ribbon Week we were have the "Just Say No" talk. I told my class about the decision I made when I was their age to never use drugs or other harmful substances. The following conversation followed:
  

  
  

  Boy: So when did you change your mind?
  

  Me: I didn't change my mind. I still lived by that decision to be drug and alchohol free.
  

  Boy: You said that drugs make people do crazy things they wouldn't usually do.
  

  Me: That's true.
  

  Boy: Well... (long pause) you do a lot of crazy thing that most people wouldn't do. You must do drugs.
  

It was clearly time to re-teach and clarify. Oh, and laugh my head off.

• Shy Girl: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
  

  Me: I don't know, what?
  

  Shy Girl: elephino! heee heee.
  

  Me: (Through uncontrollable bursts of laughter) Do you get that joke?
  

  Shy Girl: No. It's funny though, right?
  

  Me: Yeah! It's a good one!
  

  
  

• There is one student in my class that's late almost every day. She came in one morning with a Starbucks coffee cup in hand. I was bewildered. When I asked her what she had in her hand she said, "Oh Miss S., this is just my morning pick me up! It jump starts me into my day!" I couldn't argue with that.
  

  
  

• One day this week while on outside recess duty a boy fell and came running up crying. When he got to me he blurted this out before I could say anything.
  

  "Miss Sullivan! I just fell down and my mom makes me wear these really really tight jeans because she says they look good on me! They're so tight that I can't get to the hurt part! Dang pants."
  

  
  

• For weekend news a boy shared this story:
  

  "We got to ride Trax this weekend! It was awesome and my mom lost my sisters and me! It was so cool! My older sister who is twelve, me, and my five year old sister got on the train. My mom was fixing her shoes and looked up to see the doors closing. She ran barefoot up to the train door right as it shut in her face! We were laughing really hard and then my sister got scared because we were all alone in Salt Lake. My mom caught up with us at the next stop though. She had to pay some guy $50 bucks to drive her to the next Trax stop to find us. It was the best!"
  

I would now like to end this post with the best story I have had in my three years teaching. This one seriously wins! If you watch The Office you will die of laughter, at least I did. If you don't watch The Office it will still be funny.

• There is a stapler in my classroom that the students broke a part off of. It will still staple papers and function however it won't stay closed on its own. It just bounces on top of the spring. One day I told my students to staple their assignment and turn it in to the basket. This is what happened:
  

  Boy 1: Miss S. that stapler is broken! We don't want to use it.
  

  Me: It will still staple your papers and anyway you guys are the ones who broke it so you just have to deal. (Sympathetic, I know.)
  

  Boy 2: But its thingy is broken and so it just bounces.
  

  Girl: (From the back of the room) That's what she said!
  

  Me: WHAT?!?!
  

  Girl: That's what she said. My dad says it all the time and my mom always laughs.
  

  Me: HAHAHAHAHA!
  

  I think I laughed for five minutes straight. I really couldn't get control of myself. Could that joke have been any more well placed? No! And she had no why it was so well played. My class joined right along laughing with me. They had no idea what was funny but it distracted me for a few minutes and that's all they care about. I just love them and their innocence!