I can't smell.
Really. I really can't smell. Not just today. Never. I never have the ability to smell. Although this is a common known fact about me it still puzzles people. Friends I've had for years will all of the sudden ask me a random question about my non-smellability. It's puzzling I know.
Lately there have been a few smelling "incidences" (Isn't that word mysterious? I love it!) that were definitely blog-worthy. However, I don't feel like I can really open up the Smelling Diaries without doing a brief question and answer period to catch you up to speed. So here are the top questions I am asked when someone discovers my lack of a complete functioning set of senses.
Q: You really can't smell anything?
A: Yes, I really can't.
Q: Can you taste?
A: No I just eat because I like what the food does does my body.
OF COURSE I CAN TASTE.
Do I have a normal fully functioning set of taste buds? I have no idea. I can't really compare my tasting abilities to yours. Think about it. Impossible. I personally believe that my taster is slightly broken. Food is more based on texture. I'm not really into meat due to the roughness. I don't do cookies, too crumbly. Cake, fits in with the crumbly category.
Lifesavers/Jolly Ranchers/Starbursts= all one flavor. I don't like brown beverages. In all reality they probably taste exactly that same to me as yellow, blue, red, green, even purple beverages but I'm racist against the brown beverage. Oops. One day remind me to tell you about "The Beverage Test". Actually Jason should tell it. It's his "back in the glory days" story.
In conclusion: I can taste it's just messed up a little bit.
Q: When did you loose your sense of smell?
A: I don't know that I lost it. It's kind of like when you misplace your cell phone. Did you ever really have it? Maybe. Maybe you didn't even bring it with you. You just really aren't sure.
I don't know if I ever had a sense of smell to loose. Maybe I had it and then lost it but maybe I didn't bring it with me. Get the metaphor?
Basically the answer is I can't smell and I don't remember a time I could. So I probably never had it. Confusing, right?
Q: When did you realize you couldn't smell?
A: I was the stinky girl in seventh grade. I was told by the flyer on my locker announcing to the school that I had BO. I didn't know I stunk. I then realized. All very Mean Girls-esque. It just kind of fell upon me after that. I took care of the stinky thing right then and became obsessive.
I stopped caring a few years ago. I think I'm the stinky girl again. It's cool.
Q: So you can't smell ________________ (cookies baking, fresh rain smell, hot guy cologne, a baby's bum)?
A: No, No, No, and why do people think that smells good but no.
Q: Do you realize how lucky you are that you can't smell _____________ (poop, farts, skunks, dirty socks, Slim)?
A: No not really but I think it's pretty funny when others suffer. :)
And now the number one comment I receive when the questions are over (generally given by a male).
Your husband is gonna love you! He can be as stinky as he wants an you aren't gonna care!
Did I miss any questions? Do you still feel unanswered and confused? Let me know. I can continue this sarcastic fest all day.
Let The Smelling Diaries begin!
Really. I really can't smell. Not just today. Never. I never have the ability to smell. Although this is a common known fact about me it still puzzles people. Friends I've had for years will all of the sudden ask me a random question about my non-smellability. It's puzzling I know.
Lately there have been a few smelling "incidences" (Isn't that word mysterious? I love it!) that were definitely blog-worthy. However, I don't feel like I can really open up the Smelling Diaries without doing a brief question and answer period to catch you up to speed. So here are the top questions I am asked when someone discovers my lack of a complete functioning set of senses.
Q: You really can't smell anything?
A: Yes, I really can't.
Q: Can you taste?
A: No I just eat because I like what the food does does my body.
OF COURSE I CAN TASTE.
Do I have a normal fully functioning set of taste buds? I have no idea. I can't really compare my tasting abilities to yours. Think about it. Impossible. I personally believe that my taster is slightly broken. Food is more based on texture. I'm not really into meat due to the roughness. I don't do cookies, too crumbly. Cake, fits in with the crumbly category.
Lifesavers/Jolly Ranchers/Starbursts= all one flavor. I don't like brown beverages. In all reality they probably taste exactly that same to me as yellow, blue, red, green, even purple beverages but I'm racist against the brown beverage. Oops. One day remind me to tell you about "The Beverage Test". Actually Jason should tell it. It's his "back in the glory days" story.
In conclusion: I can taste it's just messed up a little bit.
Q: When did you loose your sense of smell?
A: I don't know that I lost it. It's kind of like when you misplace your cell phone. Did you ever really have it? Maybe. Maybe you didn't even bring it with you. You just really aren't sure.
I don't know if I ever had a sense of smell to loose. Maybe I had it and then lost it but maybe I didn't bring it with me. Get the metaphor?
Basically the answer is I can't smell and I don't remember a time I could. So I probably never had it. Confusing, right?
Q: When did you realize you couldn't smell?
A: I was the stinky girl in seventh grade. I was told by the flyer on my locker announcing to the school that I had BO. I didn't know I stunk. I then realized. All very Mean Girls-esque. It just kind of fell upon me after that. I took care of the stinky thing right then and became obsessive.
I stopped caring a few years ago. I think I'm the stinky girl again. It's cool.
Q: So you can't smell ________________ (cookies baking, fresh rain smell, hot guy cologne, a baby's bum)?
A: No, No, No, and why do people think that smells good but no.
Q: Do you realize how lucky you are that you can't smell _____________ (poop, farts, skunks, dirty socks, Slim)?
A: No not really but I think it's pretty funny when others suffer. :)
And now the number one comment I receive when the questions are over (generally given by a male).
Your husband is gonna love you! He can be as stinky as he wants an you aren't gonna care!
Did I miss any questions? Do you still feel unanswered and confused? Let me know. I can continue this sarcastic fest all day.
Let The Smelling Diaries begin!
4 comments:
I love your daily posts, its something funny to look forward too. And this post definitely didn't disappoint. That is so funny, and sad, I guess.
I am looking forward to more smelling diaries...love it.
Sorry you can't smell and taste everything well...:( sometimes I wish I had that problem...then maybe I coud loose some weight.
I think I knew this about you... but when I read the details I was still surprised. Wow. No smell. That's big. I was glad to read that you can taste though.... well kind of. I really am looking forward to hearing more on this subject. It's kind of fascinating. Just one more way that you are totally unique!
where are the other smelling diaries??
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