Smelling Diaries Part 2

First of all I am very happy about the good responses to Part 1 of the smelling diaries. It just encourages me to keep going. Well done group.

I don't have very many fears that cause me anxiety or even second thought. Except one. I am extremely anxious that one day there will be a fire in my home, at school, etc. and something terrible will happen because I didn't smell it soon enough. It's one of those fears where my mind goes straight to worst case scenario.
I have nightmares about it. My extremely handsome future husband is out of town. Sadly, he works too much. I'm asleep in my comfy bed and once I'm asleep not much can wake me up. My adorable, well behaved future children with functioning smellers are asleep. The smoke detectors in my home stop working even though I check the batteries regularly. By the time I am awoken the smoke is so thick I can't see my hands. I run around frantically trying to find all the children. It never ends the same or even starts the same but the one thing that is always there is the feeling of helplessness.

I don't do helpless.

So image the panic I felt last week when this happened.
My students know that I can't smell but they don't really remember or understand what that means. Last week one day we were in our classroom just working away when one little girl comes and says,

"Miss Sullivan, it smells like something is on fire!"

Whenever I am presented with a situation such as this it is hard to decide how serious to take it. Yeah I can't smell and would have no idea if there was a fire unless I

a. saw the flames

b. felt the smoke

c. heard the fire alarm go off

so it's important that I analyze the situation immediately. However, kids sometimes exaggerate. For all I know someone near her could of farted with a smokey essence to it. That would be really gross.

I quickly turned to my other 20 second graders and asked if anyone smelled anything. The immediate yelled out responses I hear are,

"It smells like burnt cookies."

"I smell burning."

"Fire! Fire!"

That is when I start to panic. I run next door and the whole class is nowhere to be found. The other nearest class is also gone. So I decide I better get the kids out. I line them up quickly and grab my cell phone so I can call the school and see what is up and why the fire alarm hasn't gone off. We start marching outside. I get the secretary on the phone and ask her in a slightly possessed voice, "Is there a fire?!!!"

The reply, "Oh no honey, somebody burned some popcorn in the faculty room. It's not that strong of a smell though. It should be gone soon."

BURNT POPCORN!

All that panic, immediate anxiety, frustration, confusion. I have got to figure out a solution to this problem. An invention of some type perhaps. I would call it the smelltastic 2000. I don't know what it would do though. Any ideas?