Disclaimer: Any of the following may not be suitable for the easily offended. If you fit the previous description do not continue reading or remind yourself, these things were said by six year olds.
- Setting: Teacher and student sitting at the reading table. The rest of the class quietly working at their desks. Teacher: I am going to say two rhyming words. I want you to think of another word that rhymes with those words. Are you ready? Student: Yes. Teacher: can, fan Student: man Teacher: sad, bad Student: had Teacher: hit, fit Student: (in a VERY loud voice) SHIT!
- Setting: Teacher standing at the front of the classroom teaching spelling. All students looking and listening to teacher (or at least they are supposed to be.) Student: Teacher! I need to tell you something very important. Teacher: Ok, what? Student: (he stands and walks to the front of the room and is now standing next to the teacher with the entire class looking and listening to him. He grabs his crotch and says the following.) You now those two things down there next to my peanuts? Well I have a pointy thing coming out of them and so I have to take some medicine for it. Teacher: Thank you for sharing that very important information with me and the entire class. Student: (smiles) Your welcome.
- Student: Miss Sullivan! I think you were bit by a vampire! Teacher: Why would you think that? Student: You have two read vampire bite spots on your neck! Teacher: (I feel my neck to find two small zits.) Oh, I don't think it was a vampire bite. Student: No, it is a vampire bite. I would know. I have been bit by a vampire before and so has my Mom! Teacher: Oh, well if you know it is a vampire bite I better call your Mom and ask her for some advice on what to do to take care of it. Student: No! You can't, it was so bad that she doesn't remember anything about it. Teacher: Oh no that is awful. Well am I a vampire now? Student: Yes, you are.
- Student: Miss Sullivan, are you ever going to get married? Teacher: Well, hopefully someday but I am still young and don't need to get married right away. Student: I asked my Mom how old you are and she said probably 29 or 30. Teacher: Really?! Do you think she is right? Student: No way! I bet you are 40!
That is all for now but I am sure there will soon be more. They are brutally honest at all times which provides me with some great material!
10 comments:
Oh my! That is so funny! Do you have such a hard time not laughing at that, or deciding what to say back to them?!
hey linds! those made me lol. keep posting those gems!
Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. Your students sound like little comedians! You don't look 29, 30, OR 40, don't worry. I still think my favorite story is of the girl that wrote you a note and forgot the R and said "I like your shit."
That is why I am grateful for you Emily! I totally forgot about the "I like your shit" letter. When that I decided to find it. I went through my "special notes" folder and found it! It made me laugh out loud all over again!
Lindsi, that is possibly the funniest post I've ever read. I had Scott read it too. Classic stuff.
girl I almost peed my pants. next time have a warning if it is funny so i can empty the bladder. I miss going to school and meeting the kids and laughing about them. I should come meet this bunch, your last class didn't have stories like these. Man I can't wait.
Lindsi! it is lacey, carly's little sister! your post was HILARIOUS! i cant wait to be a teacher! how are you?
Geez... I hope that kid is okay...
Seriously though you MUST keep posting these stories. I made my husband who came home from work a little grumpy read this and he was in a good mood again lickety split quick :)
Okay those were worth backtracking on your blog to read! I love it! High schoolers aren't as funny or innocent :( sad day
Okay those were worth backtracking on your blog to read! I love it! High schoolers aren't as funny or innocent :( sad day
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