The weirdest things happen to me. Right. Why? I'm not sure. I'm not some crazy thrill seeking, adventure-ramma woman. I'm just plain old Lindsi. Don't misunderstand me, I consider myself semi-adventurous. I'm not afraid to participate in outlandish activities. I'm always up for a challenge. Statistically, 85% of my life is rather boring and generally routine. I do my thing, teach my class, live my life. So it is always perplexing when these random yet hilarious situations happen to me. Always.
The great part about my freak accident nature is if you know me you know I LOVE a good story. There really is nothing better. Which makes the pain, the money (for medical bills and/or to replace whatever I broke), the time to heal, and the embarrassment associated with my accident prone life, all worth it.
I tried to think of a few recent freak accidents to give as examples. Here are a few I came up with...
- Mexico, scooter, an ambulance, and an IV
- The Nile, a raft, class five rapids, me. Did I really believe I would come out of that one unscathed? I guess. I have a pretty sweet battle scar on my shin though. I hope the saying that "Chics dig scars" goes for males as well. Otherwise I'm SOL.
- Africa, no electricity, night, and open sewage ditches. Need I say more.
- Breaking a college buddies hand in a friendly wrestling match. My only defense is that he continuously pestered me to wrestle him. Not my fault that he caught himself with his hand as I was falling on him. Not. My. Fault.
- The home teacher. If you don't know this story by now you never will.
- The Rabbit. You're never going to hear this story from me but Mike and Carly will tell you any day of the week. Happily.
That was a super long intro into the whole point of this post. I have two more freaky moments to add to my list of crazy happenings. They both happened last week and really made my chaotic final week of school a little more entertaining.
I got set up on a blind date. I'm going to leave out some of the nitty gritty details like who the date was, the identity of the setter upper, etc. This is to save the setter upper's reputation. Even though they have admitted defeat in the match making area and promised me they are in retirement. ;)
I got called the day of and the way the situation was presented left me no way to back out. Don't you hate that kind of trickery? We made plans to meet at Barnes and Noble. On my way driving there, I thought I got a flat tire (which adds to my freak accident theory). It turned out to be low and just need air. I took care of the tire mess and then went into the store. By this time I was about twenty minutes late. Oops. As soon as I walked through the doors I realized my date and I had not made plans on how we would meet up once in the store. I've never seen the man before, I didn't have his number, he didn't have mine, and setter upper wasn't available. Oh geez.
I stood around the front of the store for a while, feeling like a moron. I gave up and decided to go about the shopping I had to do there. I wandered the store, frequently returning to the front. I would look around and search for a person I didn't know. It was an awkward feeling. I finished my shopping and was now about 45 minutes late for the original meet up time. I was about to call it a loss and bail when over the loud speaker I hear,
"Lindsi Sullivan, if you are in the building please meet your date at the front desk."
Well, that was it. I DON'T get embarrassed. Ever. However, in this situation I was completely mortified. As I made the walk of shame to the front of the store I felt like it was the slow motion part of the movie where the girl pushes through the crowd with every eye on her. I was sure everyone knew I was the sucker on the blind date that couldn't seem to connect with one another.
I realize nobody was even paying attention to me but that is not how it felt.
I reached the front and the smirking (they were smirking, it was not my imagination) clerks pointed in the direction of my date.
When we finally met up we did the awkward intro with an awkward side note of us starting the date out with a flare. It turned out this guy wasn't good at the laugh at hilarious situations thing. Too bad. It was a good one.
The night just went down hill from there. He informed me he had "tickets" to a High School Christmas Concert. Newsflash: They are free and don't require tickets. I am then informed he didn't have any friends or family performing in the concert and he didn't attend that High School. This cause me to ponder why we were there suffering through it. Everybody knows you only force yourself to attend a HS choir concert because the ones you love are involved. Never voluntarily. I now know he isn't included in the "everybody" category. We then pushed through the most forced and uncomfortable conversation ever. That is an unusual occurrence for me since I can carry on a meaningful conversation with a stick. That was followed by some serious dodging by me when asked for my number, a follow up date, etc. It was all just too much.
I'm sure I'm a better person for enduring it. Or maybe not. I at least have the story to tell.
That story ran a little long so Situation 2 will follow in a separate post tomorrow. Look forward to that. It's equally, if not more entertaining, than the first.
